


We Like Chem, We Stan

by OneDer



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Fluff, M/M, SetInLondonSoGetReadyForMugging, booseoksoon, dinonuguaegi, jihancheol, jisooisgod, kinda highschool, minghaoisajudgygoth, mingyugetshighoffbathsalts, piningafterjeonghan, soonyoungstealspurses, vernonisataichimaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-09-14 14:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16914588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneDer/pseuds/OneDer
Summary: "I could call Seungkwan.""But we need google maps on your phone.""Oh yeah. I could ask Jeonghan-Hyung.""But if we don't bother him, he'll buy us ramen later.""True. Where's your phone?""In my pocket.""So we can't use that either. What a dilemma. What a dilemma indeed.""Dilemma. Good word."~In which Satan himself would spit on the wretched ground that booseoksoon walk.





	1. Contents

**Author's Note:**

> Short stories centred around the lovely members of memeteen; high school edition. 
> 
> We like chem, we Stan.

Table of Contents:

 

1\. We like, we stan

2\. Of Spag Bol and Leather

3\. Crazies and Tarantulas

4\. Na + Cl ——> NaCl

5\. Bethy's Disclaimer

6\. BathSalts

7\. Contents of Sabrina's Purse

8\. God on Earth

9\. Yin and Yang

10\. Outro: Chaotic Neutral

 

I'll try update every 2 weeks or so :) Merry Christmas


	2. 1. INTRO- We like, we stan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung is a god damn innovator for the new generation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my darling sister who will one day read this and recognise my true talents. :) xx

"Okay, everybody. Listen up!"

The once-rowdy class quietened down until only Jack could be heard whispering inappropriate shit to a vaguely unimpressed Martha. Wisely, the Korean boy ignored the two (who no one likes anyway) and continued to address his captive audience.

"I believe that I have just invented the next biggest thing. The Saviour of our era. The bubble to our squeak-"

"Just get on with it!"

Kwon Soonyoung stood on the teacher's desk, having swiftly and uncaringly brushed the useless piles of paper to the ground. If Soonyoung had his way, there would be no need for trivial matters such as paper or books. Save the trees and all that.  
What Soonyoung was actually doing on the desk- that was a whole 'nother matter.

"Jesus Christ, calm down, Jack!"  
And yet again it was Jack. Soonyoung will take all the god damn time he wants, thank you very much. 

"What did we say about using God's name in vein, Soon?"

"Sorry, Jisoo hyung."

Unfortunately, Hong Jisoo will always come over Soonyoung's own masculine image. By masculine we obviously mean small, Korean boy who was not wearing fishnets thank you very much.

"But back to my point- myself and the lovely Seokmin." Who at this point, threw in his own signature beam to the surrounding and now sunburnt students, "have put together a jacket that Satan himself would wear clubbing!"

He could practically feel Jisoo's disapproving glare burn rings into the side of his head.

"Again, sorry Jisoo hyung."

Soonyoung scanned the classroom for some friendly faces in the crowd around him. He saw Seokmin and Seungkwan, smiling and winking at him. He saw Jisoo and Seungcheol, staring longingly at a certain long-haired twat rather than listening to his impeccably prepared speech. He spied Minghao standing towards the back of the small group of students, emo phase still strong. The Chinese's back was practically flat against a locker because of the compact room.

The classroom was small, at best. Kids-(namely Jack)-being-trampled-to-death, at worst. The walls were cream with dust covered windows stretching across one side. Tall lockers were shoved at the back behind three rows of desks and a sliding white board. I'm sure you can guess what was written behind the whiteboard, but if you want a picture, Jack is mentioned a lot.

"It's a jacket, so what?"

"Well, I understand your query, Jack. But what you should be asking, is how much is the first bid going to be. I can actually answer that."

 

The crowd quickly dispersed after that.

"Looks like you'll get to keep it after all, Seokmin."

Seokmin probably assumed that Soonyoung didn't see his victory dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> Short ( and terribly written ) intro chapter where all first goes wrong. But Do not be afraid, other chapters will be longer and better :)
> 
> Happy new year x


	3. Of Spag Bol and Leather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seoksoon continue to be failiures but in the best way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm sorry for not updating in ages, but I just randomly finished this whole chapter tonight :D enjoy xx

2019- a year of innovation. A year of intrigue and acceptance. The year that spag bol (spaghetti bolognese for the uncultured readers who do not understand the modern slang innit yo) makes a great return. You see, Lee Seokmin is really hungry, and the inedible mush served at the school canteen will just not suffice. Lucky for him, sixth former privileges state that he can leave the building for lunch, as long as he is back before his next lesson.

"Soonyoung hyung!"

A certain clock-faced teen whipped his head towards Seokmin. His grin stretching the length of his squishy, hamster-like face.

"What is it my darling rosebud petal?"

At this point, the nicknames were a given.

"Let's get spag bol at that Italian place down the road. I would like to eat something a little more edible for a change."

"Sounds good to me. Let's grab Seungkwan and go."

The pair set off towards where Seungkwan was standing in the lunch queue with resident air-head gay, Chwe Vernon himself.

"Hyung," Seokmin called. "Do you and Vernon want to come to this new Italian place for lunch today?"

This was, apparently, a mistake.

"Do I want to come with you? Do I? Let me fucking think. No! No I do not. Do you know how long I have waited in this fucking queue with burger-boy over here?" He signalled to Vernon as Seokmin tried to interject. "39 minutes and 3.76 seconds. Thirty nine minutes I have waited and I will NoT give up now. So good day to you!"

Little did Seungkwan know that about half way through his speech, the audience of two had backed away and begun their treck to the restaurant. Seokmin proudly sporting the jacket from last chapter (the one that Satan could club in if I remember correctly) and Soonyoung beamed as they mindlessly chattered.

For example:

"So I said- how could I have known it'd blow up? It was a fucking avocado!"

And the like.

\------2 and a half hours later----

You'd think it would be easy to reach the Italian restaurant 'at the end of the road'. Especially when Google Maps were up. (On Soonyoung's phone. Seokmin didn't want to crease the jacket and therefore couldn't remove the phone from his pocket.) You'd think that it would be really hard to get lost, also considering that Jeonghan has a part-time in a coffee shop right next to the Italian restaurant which they have visited many times.

And yet somehow, they've managed it.

Soonyoung pondered over the situation before saying:

"I could call Seungkwan."

"But we need google maps on your phone."

Soonyoung pondered more:

"Oh yeah. I could ask Jeonghan-Hyung."

"But if we don't bother him, he'll buy us ramen later."

"True. Where's your phone?"

"In my pocket."

"So we can't use that either. What a dilemma. What a dilemma indeed."

"Dilemma. Good word."

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Soonyoung spotted a bright, orange light right next to Jeonghan's coffee shop. Could it be...?

"Seokmin! My love! I've found it! Leaning Tower of Pizza. It's right there. No need to hurry. We've already missed all of our classes."

-

After a delicious spag bol for two, Soonseok walked the 100 metres back to school, just in time for the end of school bell to ring. Going to collect their coats, Seokmin chuckled softly as he heard a familiar voice down the hall.

"3 hours, 56 minutes and 7.1 seconds! This is ridiculous! Why are these children not in class? Why is there such a long line for this inedible shit?"


End file.
